"Michael The Mailbox"

Now... Michael is a son of a bitch.

He has sharp teeth...

Also, he has a pissy attitude.

FUN. 

Now, Michael will eat your fucking bills.

And hands...

And then you'll be in debt.

And then you will have shit credit.

And then you'll never be approved for a loan or be able to rent a car.

And you won't have hands to drive a car anyhow.

Thanks to Michael.

Dick.